Valentine’s
Day is kind of like Forrest Gump's box of chocolates. You never know what
you’re going to get until you sink your teeth into it. In the way that New
Year’s Eve is the ultimate dating night of the year—candellight, wine and a midnight kiss with your sweetie—Valentine’s Day is the measure of how well you did selecting that sweetie. At the end of the day, did you revel in a rich, delicious
truffle, or did you crack a tooth on an unexpected nut?
Have something sweet on Valentine's Day. The recipe for these cookies is on Nancy Baggett's delicious website http://www.kitchenlane.com/ |
Friend #2 ‘s
beloved broke up with her on Valentine’s Day. Imagine, 364 perfectly reasonable
days to deliver the message, and he
picks that one. To this moment, my friend defends the indefensible. Of course, he should have dropped the bomb sooner, or later. But work got in his way, or travel,
or whatever was more important, which was—she sighs—probably everything. Because
he wasn’t a bad fellow. Really. It’s just that his timing was lousy. And with a
push-off like that, tantamount to getting shoved down a luge run on the
Matterhorn, she had no choice but to move on.
Have all my friends
been stabbed in the aorta by cupid's arrow? Indeed not. Decades ago, I attended
a Valentine’s Day wedding that was done up in pink and cream, lace and satin. It
featured bridesmaids dressed in flamingo peu de soie, matchbooks (this is how
far back we’re going) imprinted with entwined hearts above the bride and
groom’s first names, and a towering wedding cake frosted in pink and decorated
with rosettes and hearts. True to their theme, the couple honeymooned in the Poconos
where they revolved on a heart shaped bed that played “You Light Up my Life.” Chrissie
and Jeff, now grandparents of infant twins, have been lighting up one another’s
lives for thirty-five years.
I personally
know of two engagements sealed on the red letter day, one starring a heart shaped lollapalooza
of a diamond. Which reminds me that in certain regions, every kiss does not begin with Kay. More likely, it
begins with Katz. In New York, where I grew up, diamonds are purchased not at
chain stores, but in Manhattan’s jewelry district where “this flawless pear
shape just arrived from my cousin in South Africa,” or “this three carat marquise
was cut personally by my uncle in Antwerp.” As I write this, I’m glancing at my
own ring with its twist of two solitaires, one of which is the diamond my
father gave to my mother upon their engagement.
My parents'
story is one of those eternal ones, with an ending worthy of Dickens. My dad
was a true romantic who found the love of his life in my mom. At seventy-five,
he’d proclaim to all within earshot, “Look at that woman’s complexion. Still perfect.
Isn’t she beautiful?” Valentine’s Day was his time to shine. Now, he didn’t believe in gilding the lily. No
fancy innovations, just “Tradition!” Unfailingly, he presented my mom with a
dozen roses, though she wound up with eleven because he always pulled a single bloom
to hand to me. And under his arm, two boxes of candy, Barton’s or Barricini’s, the
prime purveyors in Brooklyn back then. A giant red satin heart crammed with assorted
soft centers and chews for my mom. A smaller pink heart for me.
So, when William
Devens died on Valentine’s Day, I felt there was something fitting about his
date of departure. Not morbid. Bittersweet. A reminder from him about how much he
adored my mother and treasured his daughter. I always remember that, but on
Valentine’s day, especially.
In midlife,
I find I am less like Scrooge (Bah! Humbug!) and more like Marley's ghost, floating
on memories of good Valentine’s days past, schlepping the chains of not so
wonderful ones. My history is mixed, but bottom line, I’m all for romance and for
the day dedicated to celebrating it. So bring on the flowers. Bring on the
candy. Hold the diamonds (my insurance premiums are high enough). And hold on
to this thought: If you have true love, cherish it. If you’ve ever had it, be grateful. If you’re
looking forward, well... you never know. Happy Valentine’s Day and may Cupid
bless us, everyone.