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We'd named ourselves The
Time Travelers, a group of ten friends, male and female, from the old
neighborhood in Brooklyn, classmates scattered by time and circumstance then
rediscovered at high school reunions or on Facebook. Last May, we'd
gathered in the leafy shadows of Prospect Park to kick off two days of
memories, laughter and noshing (akin
to snacking but with more gusto and usually mustard). At some time during that weekend,
we learned that one of us was waging war with a nasty, aggressive cancer. We told
her, as we’d told each other in the school yard years before, “We got your
back, kiddo.”
Over the following months, we heard about her extensive
surgery and grueling rounds of chemo which she handled with amazing grace. Radiation
was next. We’d kept in touch by phone and email but now, dammit, we weren’t
going to let her go through more of this without us there to hold her hand, hug her
gently, help her deal.
Last week, with
her radiation about to begin, Time Travelers arrived from four different states
by train bus and plane. One of us carried a special gift: a photo taken of our
group at the May reunion surrounded by a paper mat that had made its way around
the country by post, picking up autographs at each stop. And hours before our
friend was scheduled to head up to radiation oncology, a contingent of us sat
with her and her husband in the cafeteria at Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center to
witness her unwrap the gift. Her beautiful smile bloomed as she read our notes
of hope and friendship. Our eyes filled. We nibbled New York’s famous black-and-white
cookies as we cheered her on. And when we kissed goodbye and promised to stay in
touch, we meant it. If New Yorkers say, “We got your back, kiddo,” you can
lay money on it—they got your back.
On my way to
Penn Station for the trip home, I was greeted by a young man who wouldn’t
let me walk past his stand of knit hats and chenille gloves. “Hey, for that smile,
lady, I take two dollars off.” How could I pass up such a bargain? I bought a
pair of gloves, a little gift for myself for the holidays. But the friends that
gathered for a Time Traveler in trouble, and even more, what she gave back to
us—an example of bravery under fire, determination and, on most days, serene optimism—now that’s a gift the size of a New
Yorker’s heart.Toby Devens
What a lovely story! Serious illness can be so isolating. I'm sure your friend was buoyed up by the group's visit and the gifts will be a reminder of that day and your friendship when you all are not there. And you have your gloves for the same reason. The little things can mean so much.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Willa. I know she appreciates our connection, but honestly we feel privileged to know her. She's a modest, lovely woman who is showing extraordinary spirit in a very difficult situation. And the gloves--yes, I'll think of that wonderful visit everytime I wear them.
DeleteThank you!
ReplyDeleteJennifer (Miller)
You're welcome, Jennifer. I really admire her courage under fire. We've known each other for decades, but are closer now than we were as kids. Seeing long ago friendships re-blossom is one of the paybacks for getting older.
DeleteKnowing people care and are there for you is so important. Not to have to face treatment for a serious illness alone really helps. The support received from friends and family is so important. It is like having medicine for your heart and soul. It gives one courage and determination to keep fighting rather than just giving up.
ReplyDeleteAgreed on all counts. "Medicine for your heart and soul" is a great phrase. Also, it's something of a miracle that The Time Travelers found each other after so many years..and then decided we liked each other so much we wanted to hang out together. Discovering the remarkable woman I talk about in the post just at this time was another stroke of luck (or sign from heaven?). May she live long and prosper, as Spock (Mr., not Dr.) says.
DeleteFriends. They're precious, family of the heart. Whether or not one sees or talks to them on a regular basis, just knowing they're there is like money in the bank, because when a crisis arrives, they're there for you. When you have a woo-hoo, Snoopy happy dance occasion, they are the first with whom you share it. They are gems in your crown and one of sweetest blessings from Heaven. I'm so pleased you have so many of them, Toby. I can see that they treasure you just as much.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lovely post, Chassie. I do cherish my friends, you among them. As an only child, I recognized early the value of people in my life who weren't bonded to me by DNA. They've come through for me in every crisis and yes, celebrated with me at happy times. Some--like The Time Travelers--go way, way back. And some are brand, spankin' new. I tend to collect them as I go along. Much more precious than stamps, coins or jewelry!
DeleteYour friend is so lucky to have you (plural) Great to know somebody has your back.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rebecca. I'm lucky to have them. My writer friends, for example, have rescued me from run-on sentences and misplaced modifiers. But more important, they've always been there to cheer me on. I continue to be grateful that they've "got my back" personally as well as professionally.
DeleteYou captured the holiday spirit of New York perfectly and the good cheer was a nice balance to the story of your friend's ordeal. How wonderful that a whole group of you could reassemble to offer her support.Very heartwarming.
ReplyDeleteSo many aspects of growing up in New York City, especially at this time of year, helped shape what seemed to my friends and me a magical childhood. Vendors in Central Park selling cones of chestnuts hot from the roaster. Ice skating at the Wollman Memorial Rink (demolished now)in Prospect Park. The windows of Bloomie's, Saks and F.A.O Schwarz featuring animated characters before computerization made them commonplace. The hustle, bustle, sparkle, dazzle which we threaded through, eyes wide. We prided ourselves at being New Yorkers. A special breed, we thought. Maybe that's why so many of us stayed so close over the years.
ReplyDeleteI have discovered that it is possible to experience intense joy while time traveling. The main way this is accomplished is through shared memory of small details long since forgotten but brought back through visiting and writing about one’s childhood. This idea actually was described in a famous film “Amelie” when the young woman discovers toys in her apartment that belonged to a child that lived there. She researches who the person is and lets him discover his lost treasure. When our Time Travelers Group meets, we are inspired by our old neighborhood, where we played, which playground artifacts are still in place, by the library on Linden Blvd. which still has the exact shelves, nooks, crannys and light fixtures that we didn't notice as kids, but seeing them now brings it all together full circle. One of the best memories brought back from childhood was coming across an oak tree in Prospect Park that was standing in the same exact spot where I learned to ride my two wheeler Schwinn bike. My father would hold the back seat while I struggled to balance. Of course he wasn’t really holding me up, he just pretended, and I did the rest! That tree became a catalyst that led to a fantastic rush. So when we share our childhood memories with childhood friends, the effects are multiplied a thousand fold; friends in turn remember things that each of the group has forgotten, and so it goes back and forth until the next memory is found and shared. What is memory, anyway? And how you always knew this, that, or the other thing but haven’t thought of it in 65 years? Bringing joy back to our childhood friend Gloria through our autographed picture worked like a charm; way better than buying a greeting card.
ReplyDeleteLes: Everyone who sees the picture loves the messages
ReplyDeletefrom all of you. Yes your gift is unique and better than any greeting card.
Many thanks to all the Time Travelers.
Gloria