Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Midlife Love

My new novel Happy Any Day Now deals with a lead character approaching her fiftieth birthday who gets caught up in—among family twists and career turns—the complexities of middle aged love. And in Judith Soo Jin Raphael’s case, that’s a problem X 2.

Guest blogger Yona Zeldis
 McDonough
My Favorite Midlife Crisis (Yet)—my preceding novel—showcases a trio of bright and sassy women who find themselves single and ready for adventures in their fifties. But I’m far from the only author exploring the interesting topic of love seasoned by experience, sometimes soured by heartache, but always leavened with hope. Yona Zeldis McDonough is a talented practitioner of telling tales (30 or so years) out of school. She’s my guest blogger this week and she’s going to chat about her most recent novel, Two of a Kind (out today!) and the promise and perils of that midlife miracle called “love.”  —Toby 

Here’s Yona:
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Yona's latest novel Two of a Kind is 
out today.
Young lovers approach each other with open and unencumbered arms; there are no strings, no baggage, no complicated back stories with which to contend. But middle-aged lovers approach each other with a truckload of emotional freight. If young love is a tabula rasa, then middle-aged love is a blackboard covered entirely in chalk. And it was middle-aged love that I set out to explore in my new novel, Two of a Kind.

My two protagonists, Dr. Andy Stern and interior designer Christina Connelly, are in their forties when they meet at a wedding. They take an instant and immediate dislike to one another: she thinks he’s boorish and brash; he finds her frosty and aloof. But because he needs his apartment redone and has heard rave reviews of her work, and she needs the money, these two mismatched individuals find themselves getting to know each other better—and then falling in love. 

It turns out that falling in love is the easy part; it’s staying in love that’s tough. There are differences in religion (he’s Jewish, she’s a lapsed Catholic) and differences in style (he’s loud, bossy and opinionated; she’s reserved and reflective). They each have experienced the death of a spouse—hers in a fire, his from ovarian cancer—and continue to compare each other to the partners they loved and lost. They have kids who have to be incorporated into whatever unit they try to build for themselves, and those kids certainly aren’t making things any easier. And Andy has the archetypal Jewish mother whose reaction to this union is less than ecstatic. 

But Andy and Christina persevere and it is the unfolding of their relationship, the push and pull of intimacy and fear, attraction and avoidance that became my focus in this novel. I had never charted a middle-aged relationship with all its fits and starts before, and I found I liked the process, perhaps because it dovetailed with the middle-age moment in my own life. While I am happily married and relieved that I don’t have to deal with the dating scene, I could really imagine the difficulties that would face me if I did. 

Maybe because I am middle-aged, I sympathized and empathized with my characters, both their desire for connection but also their fear of being wounded. And the events that help them overcome the fear were as surprising to me as they were to them. It was wonderful to find out that even middle-aged lovers—and writers—are still capable of being surprised now and then. 

Read more about Yona and her new book at: http://www.yonazeldismcdonough.com/



12 comments:

  1. Thought provoking. I admire the strength of your characters to undertake such a challenge, and you to undertake telling their story. Brava! At age sixty-five and after forty-three years of marriage, don't know that I'd have the stamina to follow their lead, gasp!

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    1. I am not sure I would have that stamina either, Linda! But writing fiction gives you the license--and the strength--to explore so many aspects of human experience. Just one of many things I love about my craft.

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  2. I admit I'd not thought about the stark differences between crafting a "young love" story and one featuring mature people with the normal amount of life's baggage. The latter novel would necessarily be far more complex and challenging, but probably richer and more rewarding to create (and read) too. Being fully "mature" myself, I find this kind of love story much more compelling--thanks for writing it. Good luck!

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    1. Glad you feel that way Nancy! Young love is charming and delightful but we've all read/seen/heard so much about it. I thought it was time for second-stage love to have its moment in the limelight.

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  3. I think this is a love story that will appeal to many "readers of a certain age." Yes, there's a lot more complexity when you have a lot more history to deal with.

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    1. There definitely is Rebecca! And that makes it interesting to write about--all that drama, all those complications!

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  4. I could identify with the yin-yang/push-pull of the developing relationship, and the emotional minefield that the protagonists have to navigate. Actually, this is a very brave book and it sounds like one that I would very much like to read. Thanks, Toby, for posting Yona Zeldis McDonough's guest blog about TWO OF A KIND.

    Binnie Syril Braunstein

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    1. Thank you for this comment! I hope you read the book and find it as brave as you imagined.

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  5. I suspect as we mature, we begin to find that the love stories of the young become almost banal. The burdens and histories that so many of us carry into our middle years makes the formation of relationships into something far more complex and, I believe, potentially richer. I've watched Ms. Deven's deftly reweave the fabrics of two life's tapestries. Two of A Kind seems like another of those lives on the loom experiences. One more for my list of "to be read."

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    1. Pearl, I am so please you are inclined to read my novel and I do hope you enjoy it.

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  6. It’s fascinating to watch the publishing industry acknowledge - finally - that there is as much interest in romance and “that magic moment” among those in the mid-afternoon and evening of their lives as there is in “new adults.” Heroes and heroines in their thirties and forties are now common and very welcome. Any book that features the bloom of new love among the nifty fifties and beyond is also a book about courage, optimism, possibilities and hope. HAPPY ANY DAY NOW and MY FAVORITE MIDLIFE CRISIS (YET) Toby Devens are delightful reads, as fulfilling as the best chocolate bonbon. TWO OF A KIND sounds like a tasty dessert as well. I’m looking forward to reading it.

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    1. Chassie, I hope you find TWO OF A KIND as delicious as your favorite chocolate! (I'm a chocoholic too...just saying...)

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